I had a good catch up with my mate Sean last night. Some of you will remember him as the biker collarbone example. Sean has recently started following my blog, I like to think this is research for starting his own. He has discovered that he has the same errant screw as I have, his opinion was the angle of the x-ray but I was happy to explain. Upon further consideration I have concluded that the wrong people are doing the operations. Given the DIY skills of surgeons we should let them open and close but get a builder in for the serious work.
In my survey of two operations I have found that in 100% the screws have split the bone. When you look at it the cause is obvious, too many screws too close together. The solution seems to be to try and draw the split together using a screw at right angles to the split. If I put up shelves at home like this I would be embarrassed let alone if I did it at work. Smaller screws, or less of them, is the answer and any chippy will tell you that. The good thing about this revelation is that it falls in neatly with the austerity measures that are so popular now. Your average surgeon is very expensive so if he only provides access and closes up we can get more out of him. Your metalwork can be put in by a chippy at a much lower cost.
I accept that there will be some infrastructure costs, we will need to get some extraction to deal with the habitual smoking for a start. The public’s perception of chippys will improve as well since they will no longer be the expensive part of the job. But why stop there? Surely a seamstress would do a better job with stitches? My butcher has a precision with a knife that puts some of my scars to shame. Internal work is all really plumbing isn’t it? A load of pipes and a pump, not sure if plumbers are cheaper than surgeons but if not the competition has to be a good thing doesn’t it.
I trust the PM or at least the health minister follow the blog so I will await their call…
I have just read a story in the newspaper about the most bitter divorce in the UK, the couple were called young. Mr Young, I know its no solace now but its not you, apparently all divorces involving the name young are a nightmare!