Once again I assure you all that normal service will be resumed soon….
I am extremely lucky to have met some wonderful human beings in my life. I have adopted my own ‘sister’ and have friends who demonstrate that it’s not all about family. I have great friends who look out for the mess of a human that I am and they do it tirelessly despite the lack of any reward.
I am far from normal and very hard to understand, hell I haven’t much of a clue how I work and I have been me for 45 years! Whilst nobody understands me I have friends that accept my own level of insanity. These amazing people realise that 130 hr weeks are normal for me but question me when I ‘overdo’ it. They send me food parcels when they realise that I may not have eaten for a couple of weeks which is just a little longer than normal.
Unfortunately I have never been able to translate this into my love life. I have met, and slept with, some of the lowest forms of life out there. I have actually risked my life for people who I shouldn’t ever have acknowledged in the first place. Most importantly I have created two wonderful people with something that should have either been put down or sterilised. I remain immensely sorry for the mother that I , unwittingly, inflicted on my children and only hope that they can both realise this and accept an old man’s apology.
For those who wonder on my single status let me share the meaning of the tattoo on my right hip. That tattoo simply says ‘played 14-07-07’, the date is far later than it should be but it was intended to match the ‘player’ tattoo on one of my more dangerous ‘liaisons’. Should you be somebody who is privileged to see this tattoo, it is shown rarely, please don’t think that you can add the end date or that you can be the one that ends the game. It doesn’t matter who or what you are, I have been played by the best and for the worst of all stakes so you are not good enough to end this.
Make no mistake I am not ‘damaged’ I am not ‘troubled’ I am not a basket case who can be rescued, I am not waiting for the right woman to save me. I am broken, not chipped, not worn I am shattered, destroyed and, quite simply, toxic. As an Engineer I am, above all , logical and 45 years tells me a story that can’t be changed. Don’t ever think you can save me because there is nothing to save and for you there is everything to lose. Some dark souls can’t be saved and are better left to wander….
Just to clear something up, everyone is welcome to visit my pub on the wonderful Isle of Wight. However if you are visiting to see the motorcycling then I am afraid you will be disappointed, we have a scooter rally but that’s it. We are also not particularly well known for whisky production, well not at all actually. If you enter the word “Isle” as your destination in the sat nav it will need more information because, and this will come as a surprise to some, there are multiple islands around the UK. I know, how crazy is that? More than one island, go figure!
Over the years we have developed an ingenious way of telling these islands apart. It’s a bit of a secret code but I think that I can share it here we are, after all, amongst friends. We name them differently, I know it’s crazy right? But bear with me it actually works! It’s a system we copied from other places and it is genuinely successful. It’s not perfect of course because unlike, for example, a county there are other words ahead of it like ‘isle’. You have to persevere and get past that to the word at the end but when you are there hey presto it’s unique. There is a tip that can help you here, mail delivery agents use it a lot, if you read or listen to the whole sentence then you get all of the information. I know it sounds odd but give it a go it really works and you will wonder how you ever got on before.
If the last two paragraphs made no sense then please visit at the end of May for bike racing, distillery tours are better in September and you can apply in the pub for an offshore bank account.
My estate agent visited today, the apartment is a rental, and after ten years of storing junk furniture that came with the property he told me that they have no inventory. Better than that in the health and safety crazed modern world they cannot let the place furnished as the furniture is too old and has no certificates. When did wardrobes start needing certificates? Is there a school at the back of the furniture store where they revise for exams on how to stay still?
This is the last week of full time day job and I think that should help take some of the load off. I was discussing this the other day and realised that moving home while working full time is stressful, moving jobs from a stable home is also tiresome. I am doing day job, moving home and starting a new business, in truth is it any wonder that I am tired?
Given that I am still smiling after the weekend I have to share the reason. I was lucky to see the gorgeous Aleisha twice over the weekend. All my friends know that they will lose me when my baby girl is around. The absolute icing on the cake was a sleeping girl on Sunday. Watching her blink open, focus and give me a big smile made my weekend. As daft as it sounds I am still grinning now. Don’t get me wrong, I am a broody man, I love babies but Aleisha and Harriet before her are so much more.
We all have problems and trouble in life, luck and fate are often blamed. Aleisha doesn’t worry about the start in life that she has had. She doesn’t fret or stress, she happily accepts the love lavished on her by amazing foster parents. Aleisha is such an animated baby, she studies everything around her. The world entertains and enthrals her in such a way that you cannot doubt that she will tread her own path. There is something in the innocent smile of one so young that makes you remember that all trials are transient.
Aleisha will soon meet her lucky adoptive parents. They are overjoyed and desperately keen to take on their new role. It’s a wonderful story and one that I consider myself lucky to know. I am told that babies have very little memory of early life, certainly I can’t remember being a baby. I like to think that just maybe I’ve helped Aleisha with one more preconception. Perhaps when she is older and meets a heavily tattooed man she won’t be intimidated she will just smile and get an urge to say ‘boo’. One thing is for sure she has melted the heart of this old man.