Well I had a very busy weekend and managed to complete the full replumb of a friends flat as planned. Lots of crawling through loft spaces and puzzling over pipe runs is generally a good weekend for me. Every evening has resulted in my bed calling to me early and I was concerned that I would have to ring the water board and warn them before letting my bath water (perhaps more accurately sludge) out.
Despite all of the hard work or perhaps because of it I have had a sense of futility of late that I am struggling to shift. I can see the achievements made over the weekend or the week before, they are tangible whether spreadsheets and reports or basins and tanks, but I am not seeing the personal purpose. I can see that somebody has a report or can now have a shower but am acutely aware that if I hadn’t achieved those tasks then somebody else would have.
The world around us is amazing at feeding into our feelings, almost interactively drawing us to views and images that work with our current mindset. So it is that this week I seem to be awash with happy couples and famines, people building something and something that is shared by somebody else. I know, of course, that this is just a mental filter. There is no sudden rush of marriages or childbirth I am simply tuned to that wavelength at the moment and, like most things, it will pass.
So if you see me glazing over and wonder where my mind is wandering to then the answer is the simple futility of well everything. . .
On a lighter note for anyone who has ever visited the wonderful Blackgang Chine on the isle of wight whether as a child or, as I did, as a parent take a look at this excellent video to see where the fibreglass giants of childhoods go: