I saw Patrick yesterday and for reasons that I cannot recall he decided to guess at ages, thankfully we restricted him to men so the damage was limited. He guessed Marc at ‘late 30s’ which may technically be correct depending on which date his birthday falls (he is 35), I got ‘mid 40s’ which would have really upset me if it hadn’t originated from a 56-year-old man who wears leopard skin print Wellington boots! I am pleased to hear that Pat is moving into a flat which means he will no longer reside in a caravan which has an electricity feed derived by plugging its ring main into the adjacent house. I am certainly not a shining example of Health and Safety or compliance but that arrangement is wrong on so many levels but, most importantly, afternoons in the pub will now not necessitate rough sketches of electrical installations and debates with a man who probably believes you can buy power by the bag load.
I visited the Superdry shop in Westfield on the way home yesterday and confirmed that I am indeed getting old (albeit more slowly than Pat thinks) I browsed the hoodies and discovered that they are generally priced at £49.99, obviously I concluded that this was because they were super thick and luxurious but I was wrong. They are actually charging the best part of £50 for a hoody based on a label and it gets better, the current range features ‘distressed’ motifs, really? I get these after 10 washes but thanks for saving me the effort and making the thing look life expired before I have even worn it. This rant is not what made me realise how old I was, although in part it helped, no what done that was leaving the store and passing two sales assistants that were strategically placed to offer the “can I help sir?” and what did they say? Nothing, absolutely nothing and they said it whilst looking at me with an expression that clearly said ‘ah poor man has wandered in here by mistake, I bet the loud music and bright colours disoriented him’. As a sales technique this nearly worked, it took some willpower not to turnaround and burn the credit card just to prove a point. I may not be 40 yet but I am certainly not twenty either, the clue is in the title for me its a hoody because it has a hood and no label is worth £30 of my money.
Just to add some balance to the age debate my good friends at Wildcat have sent me a new catalogue, for those of you that don’t know this is a worldwide company formed out of Brighton and selling body jewelery. Looking through 80 odd pages of the most beautiful pieces of jewelery modeled by real tattooed and pierced people made me ache for another piercing and more ink, suddenly the 14mm hole in my ear was too small and needed stretching. Luckily I am getting just that little older so I restrained myself knowing that when I returned to work on Monday ‘normal’ would take on a much more vanilla flavour!
In other news I congratulate my dream lover on her response, but I still look forward to seeing if she can hold up without a blush when we next see each other!