A quick update from Plough towers where I have just finished work for the day and settled down with a pint (sorry not sorry).
I have nearly completed the first stage of white painting, it is staggered to make sure we don’t run out of paint, and moved onto colour. I am approaching the task with renewed vigour and this is reflected in the fact that I am shattered, a very positive thing in these times.
I must apologise to anybody who observed me appearing to perform some sort of odd dance in the window and will explain the scene for anyone that is still wondering what I was doing. I had removed some caulk and loose material from the top of the window reveal in order to replace it with filler. One of the things with old buildings is that when you expose the structure it likes to get out.
So I was faced with a constant stream of debris coming from the void that I was back filling. The solution to fighting this tide was good old Henry but, with soft gloss paint around, I couldn’t let him thrash wildly around. That is why, if you happened to look at the window during this time, you will have been met with an odd image.
I can assure you that all was entirely innocent and what you actually saw was me, stood on a chair, retaining Henry’s hose between my thighs and attempting to direct said nozzle so as to best capture the flowing debris. All is good now and Henry is currently being counselled by CB duck in the hope that she can get him back to work in the morning.
I was reflecting earlier that it is just shy of five years ago that the pub looked like this and was closed as I pushed through many long nights to get ready the first time around. I may not be pulling as many hours this time around but that is the lack of a deadline, I still managed a healthy 12 hr shift today. The big difference this time though is the presence of my buddies.
Now when I can’t find that thing that I swear was right there a minute ago I immediately look for Terry duck to see where he has hid it. Every time I pick up a paint brush I hear sausage duck (3 days sober) say “I wouldn’t do it like that”. Thanks guys now lets have a beer its another day tomorrow.
I shall start this post by telling you that it is written with a broken finger. Well obviously not typed with the actual broken digit but with said digit in close attendance. The injury occurred when I lost my footing (sober I feel somehow obliged to add) and fell, my hand did a great job of protecting me from a rather sinister looking fire door (well they look sinister when approached at 90 degrees). As my hand sailed past the door my pinky decided not to be a team player and took an alternate route leaving the door with no alternative but to attempt to cleft it from my hand.
The experience resulted in a tear to the web between pinky and his pals and a fractured metacarpal. Pinky is now strapped to his neighbour in the hope of restoring normal relations such that he doesn’t choose to depart on an alternate path again. At this point in the conversation I am normally asked what the doctor said about healing time and then, well it goes a bit wrong to be honest.
No doctor was used in this diagnosis since I see no point in disturbing a professional when I can diagnose a simple fracture. For those who doubt my diagnostic skills I would point out that it is a simple mechanical issue and also that my medical diagnosis is second only to those who know something about the subject!
In reality it is a simple diagnosis, after removing a fair spattering of blood to clear the path. Working along the bones it is clear that there is no loss of integrity until one lands upon the metacarpal, manipulation of which generates a strange and painful sensation along with the desire to vomit all of which are known indicators of a fracture. The finger tip has good blood flow and all of the bits are well aligned, or at least as well as they ever were.
The biggest challenge was in the treatment since pinky wasn’t standard issue to start with. Since pinky’s normal presentation is partially rotated and somewhat crooked it presents a challenge to secure it to a relatively straight finger. Perseverance coupled with a healthy measure if ignorance has resulted in a pretty good attempt and I am confident that the fracture will heal over in due course.
I share this with you because it has occurred to me that we need to do more to relieve the pressure on the health service and self diagnosis can help. Why doesn’t the government set up simple online flow charts? A few judicious pokes and prods would soon weed out those who don’t need treatment and at the end of the chart something along the lines of ‘its a finger, man up’ would go well. We could also take this opportunity to update the definition of pain. Lets stop asking ‘does it hurt’ and start asking ‘is it uncomfortable or do you need a sick bowl?’. Where the patient declines a sick bucket they can hop off the bed and allow the next one on.
Keep an eye out for more medical efficiencies in future posts, I am of to bed now because my finger is uncomfortable.