So I am a 46 year old man, I’ve been about for a while…. Today I had a first, I wore a shirt and shorts. Does that seem insignificant to you? I assure you that it is not for it is not a thing that I have ever done in my 46 years.
I am, for many reasons, a funny creature and those who know me well are well aware of this. To me shirts mean ties which means power play and old life, the concept of a summer shirt is (nearly) lost on me. So I brought some summer shirts because, despite appearances, I am a publican and I really should make more effort to look like one. What made me wear one was the realisation that, just like meetings in Qingdao, it is sometimes the practical solution. So for me this evening dress code was shorts, linen shirt and trainers. I know, and I have been advised, that trainers are not appropriate for this dress code but there is a line somewhere about taking the lad out of the council estate. ..
So the person you saw tonight wore a shirt, maybe I didn’t look so scruffy, maybe I looked just as scruffy but under a shirt, hell maybe I looked worse! The truth is that I am not natural in any pose or garb, I am not natural with people and what I do is just to follow a series of ‘rules’ that have appeared in my life and hope that they work. I know that I don’t do this right, I know that I have no sense of fashion or direction or (sometimes) of common decency I just meander through this madness because…. well apparently I have to .
I hope that you enjoy the weird little world that I appear to lead. I hope that your experience here is a good one and I truly hope we will see you again but when you see me please don’t think that this is me, that I am some ‘natural’ at this trade. The scariest part of my job remains the fact that I have to be a people person, that is actually what this overly self conscious idiot does! So Shirt and trainers, T shirt and shoes, I am always gonna do what I do, that is how this happens. #sorrynotsorry
I have two choices on the way into work on Monday, a 35 minute wait for a 7 minute journey or an immediate connection for a 40 minute journey. This week the rain clouds suggested that I was better with the immediate connection since this does not involve a walk at the end. Delays meant that the journey took nearly an hour. Obviously it was delight to spend this at the back of Stratford’s
building site sorry, Olympic park whilst listening to the driver announce “we are being held at a red signal”. How is that information? Everyone knows that red signals mean stop, saying that you are obeying them does not add anything to our knowledge. Perhaps you could advise why the signal is red, what incident has resulted in you being stopped and thus disrupting our journey. If you stop the train for a red signal then you are doing exactly what we expect, we knew about the red light! Why don’t we hear good announcements? I want to hear “We are being delayed by a drunken bear chasing a cat” or “we are stopped here because I am hiding from the police and think I saw them” hell I would settle for “we are being delayed by a green signal, I know that means go but hey who wants to follow the crowd?”
The fate of the hotel gods was against me when I checked in on Monday and was upgraded to an executive room. As my hotel dwelling colleagues will know this brings the luxury of a free bottle of water and a whirlpool bath. To counter the positive I discovered, too late to do anything about it, that the mattress had a large loop of spring hanging out. I wish I didn’t have the water because then I wouldn’t have got up for a drink and caught my leg on the bloody man-trap! Seriously, how does something as soft and comfortable as a mattress cover such vicious pieces of steel. You could catch a bear with those springs. Of course the hotel exchanged the mattress during the day and I now have a comfortable bed, and am checking out in the morning due to a sudden change of plans.
Having shared those moments with you I would like to ask a question, inspired in part by my current read. What is it with women and shoes, yes I know that you love them and that they seem to call to you in the way that beer calls guys, but why? What bemuses me is that, having spent so long procuring footwear, you discard it at the first opportunity. Running? Walking home from the pub? dancing? Oh no sorry these shoes are just for sitting in, allow me to slip out of them and I am right there. As a man I spend a reasonable amount of time selecting cars but once I have brought one I drive it all the way home. I don’t abandon it at the bottom of the street because it is ‘not a parking car’ or ‘not for drives’. I appreciate that women are way more fashion conscious than men but why does this override any practicality when it comes to shoes? For Jo, I would just point out that this last paragraph is inspired solely by the wonderful “Dead Like You” from Peter James (sorry sis).
Two thoughts have featured in my day today and I would like to share then with you. The first thought is pertinent to my location, it goes out to one specific group. So to the mad haired man, the daft daughter, silly electric cart driver and of course the man that still lives at home. I love you guys, you may not meet the standards that society calls normal but having battled through childhood you have a better life than the rest of us. You don’t worry about health, wealth or happiness all you need is the paper shop and a breezy walk. An odd thing about life is that when your young you see abhorrent oddness but as you get older jealousy kicks in for the simple life.
The second is more personal, its aimed squarely at those that know me. You don’t, very few people know me but many claim to, I guess that’s life. Don’t meet me and think you understand, I would never be so presumptuous. Don’t talk to me for ten minutes and think you know me and there is no value in canvassing one thought to make an opinion. You see the thing is I am Gav, I am a result of lots of stupid decisions and an equal measure of hard work, if nothing else I am unique. As much as I like company I really don’t need your advice, I don’t need to know how you, your sister or your brother dealt with what you think is a similar situation. You see these boots I wear? They are mine you cannot tread my path and you cannot see my route, I and only I live my life. If you think I’m nice, well done, if you think I’m scary gold star. The thing is I don’t want you to know me, I don’t really want to know me, I don’t get a choice but you do. So when you meet me, see what you want to, like what you want to and befriend what you want to. But don’t think you know me, you really don’t and if you did you wouldn’t be able to sleep either.
I have to add one honourable mention that I missed from yesterday, sorry if the tone is not upbeat enough, Helen you were awesome singing. Really if JBJ ever needs support…… in finding people not to support him lol luv ya kidder its all in the smile or is that pink wine?