I finally succumbed to the lure of Desperados on Thursday, thanks to Dave and Jo for getting me hooked. I wandered over the road to the kinkychinky or however it is spelt. I took a table outside with my beer and was entertained by a table of three women. It is one of the few advantages to being alone in a bar, you get to watch people. Have you ever watched a group of women? They have none of the social battle guys have. Men battle rounds and drinking speeds, there is none of that with girls. Having debated their way through their drinks nobody raced to get a round. They kept talking around empty glasses for a good five minutes before the drink debate started. The alpha female (yes there is such a thing) proclaimed that she would have ‘one more’ and went about persuading the others.
Mission achieved she shot off to the bar and returned with her drink. That was it, no round, no whip, just a single pint (see told you she was the alpha). They then continued to talk around the other’s empty glasses. These were young women and so I guess they didn’t have the mothers meeting history it must be some innate ability. This also have me the opportunity to practice avoiding attention, still a wonderful game. As I sat I was in casual line of sight of the alpha female but not once did I look at her. How marvellous to behold the preening and frustration that results. It just seems unnatural to a good looking girl that a clearly heterosexual man isn’t looking at her. Don’t misunderstand me, she was debating getting married and clearly had no aspirations towards a single old man but she hated not being seen. I think she already had the chastising look or comment prepared and was simply annoyed at not being able to use it. The advantage of shades is that I could see her looking over more frequently and becoming angrier that she wasn’t ‘catching’ me looking at her. Psychology is truly a marvellous thing.
I was entertained on Friday watching an elderly couple engaging in ‘married dieting’ on the train home. They had a sandwich each in a Tupperware case and when the trolley came through the man ordered two teas and “would you like some crisps dear?”. She decided on cheese and onion but the man refused on account of watching his weight. Having consumed sandwiches the fella leaned over and asked to look at the crisp packet, this obviously involved a handful of crisps. Having concluded that they were ok he proceeded to study the front of the packet whilst eating the contents. He would return them and then think of a something that meant he had to pick them back up and read the front, each time a handful went in his mouth. There are only two things on the front, the flavour and the brand, how many times do you need to read this? Having eaten all of three crisps the wife dutifully offered the now nearly empty packet back to her husband and said “you can finish these”. The reply? “Oh ok I guess some crumbs won’t hurt” It’s nice to see that even into your sixties you can play the married diet game where one partner purchases and the other consumes, good on them.
I would like to share, for all the girls that read the blog including my elusive sister, a piece of information. I shared this recently on Facebook but think it is worthy of a larger audience based on debates that I have overheard in the week. If you buy an Apple product then, quite apart from the fact that you are mad, it will be an apple product. Of you buy a BMW it will be a BMW no matter what you tell it. Buy a Sony TV and, despite your best intentions, you will never be able to race it around a horse track. If you, as a lady, find yourself with a man well quite possibly they will be a man. It really shouldn’t be a shock when you discover that your partner is just what he was when you set out to capture him. Funny old thing that, just saying…..