Those dammed Victorian marshmallows

I thought that I should share the latest update on the current venue; I guess that I hope this is because it forms part of a story that some of you will remember when you sit at the bar!

Firstly an impending end of period target has driven the pub company vendor to push full and final offers on a large number of sales including this one. There are two ways of looking at this, I could say that it if I had been a month earlier it wouldn’t have got to this stage or I could see it as improving the odds of getting a deal done. As Jo is always reminding me, the glass is half full so I am happy with the sudden breakneck urgency. Of course these new deadlines push the trades and surveys in order that I can have some chance of making a vaguely informed offer and time is never as critical for these guys.

Some communication difficulties occurred before my stonemason arrived and even then I was only aware because the agent told me. I had an interesting conversation with the heritage stonemason last night a significant portion of which was spent explaining that I am not English Heritage and I do not have their resources, that said I do want to preserve the stonework as best as I can practically. It would appear that the stonework is in appalling condition and, as expected, has been abused by its pub company owners. Although the popular thing to do now would be to bemoan the corporate greed of the pub company I have a different target, apparently it is all the fault of the bloody Victorians!

The stonemason tells me that after all the big churches were built there wasn’t a great deal of stone available to the Victorians. Faced with an absence of building materials the Victorians discovered a reach seam of green sandstone or, to give it its modern name, marshmallow. This stone is incredibly soft but looks the part so it fuelled the Victorian building boom on the island, but like  toxic mortgage it didn’t have the longevity of earlier materials. So the root of the problem is that some Victorian used cheap stone to build what would, admittedly some years later, become my potential problem I will remember this the nest time I hear “what did the Victorians do for me”.

The problem is not insurmountable, they rarely are, but it does mean that the stone work is unlikely to survive in its current state. The two exposed corners of the building do require complete replacement along with the hideous cement mortar which needs repointing. The facing stonework is likely to be best served by lime rendering since the underlying stone is so soft. Having considered this overnight I can see that this can make a sympathetic repair with the keystones being brought out a couple of inches and the render stippled and left natural. It is important to me that the old part of the building is restored, after all a massive part of the community pub is its history. Having hopefully struck the balance between commercial reality and loving preservation the stonemason is set to prepare some numbers for me today, bated breath doesn’t come close.

The roof work that is required is somewhat more in my comfort zone. Roofs are standard materials priced at relatively standard values and I have quoted them before. In reality the roofs require little more than the “maintenance” that is so beloved of valuation reports. If you are valuing a property for a lender then why not suggest that the roofs require maintenance after all it removes any risk from you doesn’t it?

So there we are, it is all in the maths still but I am a lot closer to having those numbers. Hopefully next week sees MS Excel turning some cells green and I can steam ahead. There is some other interest, limiting the numbers, which I believe is from a developer. I would much rather this project grew back into the happy little pub that it was and took its rightful role in the centre of the community but in a harsh commercial world that gains no points in the competition so its fingers crossed that I will soon be back in my favoured role.

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Travel snacks, windows and wheels

We are constantly warned of the obesity epidemic in the UK. The newspapers tell us all that we are eating not only the wrong food but way too much of it and as for exercise, forget it.

As a regular traveller I have to take odds with the idea that we are incapable of turning down food, indeed I would say that the very opposite is true. Every other shop at train stations and airports sells food, as if that wasn’t enough there are carts occupying internal and external floor space. Far from being a nation addicted to food I think that a lot of us do a fantastic job of avoiding gluttony.

I do wonder though about those who are snared in the trap of food sales. On a ten o’clock train you will frequently see people consuming a full meal. I seriously doubt that these people ducked breakfast or will be skipping lunch it is just a snack for the journey. If the government wants to reduce the propensity to obesity they could cut down on the opportunity by reducing the shops but there is an easier way.

Let’s remind people that we give children snacks to stop them getting bored on a journey we, as adults, don’t need them. Seriously, randomly eating when travelling is no different to your mother making you a snack pack for your trip. You are an adult, buy a book and grow up!

The end of last week brought some positive news on the current pub target. Whilst the news of itself changes nothing it does offer an easier road than that which I expected. With no news from either roofer or stonemasons my surveyor has been directed at them this week and I hope to have some information with which to make a decision. As is common with pub company disposals there is a desire to get income booked by a period end deadline and, at the moment, this looks like an achievable window.

So, if I can get the reports in this week, I may be able to move this project forward at long last. I am hitting frustration again at the moment for the fact that I have nothing tangible, other than a pile of paperwork, for the long search so hoping to have a more positive update soon.

I have to share with you the scene that entertained me last week. I watched a man pushing a woman in a wheelchair whilst she yelled abuse at him. Quite what had annoyed her I didn’t discover but boy was she angry.

At a kerb the guy spun the chair and headed back past me to, which only increased her anger. By the time he had reached the door to the building that they must have left she was apoplectic but all the while the guy took it and said not a word. At the door to the building there is a step and here he stopped, before turning and walking off. The woman, for her part, was a unique combination of incandescent with rage and helpless.

Me? I was tempted to buy him a pint!

Profitable villains and tidal prophecy

I should start this post by saying that the only property that interests me is pubs. I pass fantastic houses that would, in the past, have inspired dreams and piqued my architectural interest and don’t give them a second glance. I no longer look at my rental home and long to own a building again its all about the pub. In fairness, as I explained to somebody earlier today, I do technically own a house its just that I don’t live in it and ‘owe’ 80% of it to someone that has never worked and really doesn’t like me, but I digress. It occurred to my, whilst walking along the coast, that I don’t actually remember when this changed but it has. Nowadays my rightmove searches are just to reassure me that there is a residence on the island once I am able to go. It doesn’t occur to me to look at purchasing a house because I know that any domestic property is simply a stop gap until the pub.

A pub that has caught my eye on a couple of occasions was deserving of a closer look this weekend. The pub in question is a lease which is far from my ideal but sometimes you need to consider other options and it is a free of tie lease. My background research seemed to indicate that the pub company we’re shiny the current tenant out. There were lots of supportive comments and even recent gigs to support a well liked local landlady. When I checked the pub companies website there was no mention of the sale though, further research revealed that the tenant is in fact selling on her lease. In a shrewd move she has claimed that the pub company are selling out from under her when in fact it is she who is selling. Whilst this is clearly a single shot deal it does give her the benefit of increased trade in support of her plight, after all we all know that pub companies are mean spirited don’t we. So she plays the martyr and fills her tills whilst bemoaning the landlord and then presumably disappears when the sale completes.

This is yet another reason why good research is critical. In this case the outgoing tenant will have positioned the business such that there is no goodwill to transfer. You will arrive with a smile and a jaunty step to a crowd of upset locals who ‘know’ that you are part of the reason their beloved landlady is no more.

In other news I am another step above the analogue watch snobs now. I have saved myself the effort of looking out of the window 3 times today alone because my watch tells me what the tide is doing. In fact when I walked to the shops this morning I deliberately didn’t look at the sea, so confident was I in the accuracy of Mr Yan San’s device. This is true progress, technology making life simpler and easier. Why even as I sit here typing this I know that the reason that I cannot hear so many children is that the tide is in so the beach is empty. Not for me the archaic means of looking, oh no I am the master of technology and it tells me all I need to know. Some may say that I don’t need to know the tide state or the barometric pressure but to those I ask “do you need to know what your friend had for lunch?” Of course not but you still logged onto Facebook!

For those that are following my recovery I have an update. At the moment the medical profession is looking to be leading as Ms Nature makes a very strong assault. I have been in a lot of pain for the last few days which is what the medical nuts predicted some time ago. I view this as a desperate last push by the nefarious Ms Nature and am convinced that my stubbornness will win out, watch this space.