I have to share with you my first cold call of 2015 I am rather proud of it. My apologies to anybody who has read the shortened version on facebook. Many years ago I had laser eye surgery from one of the national chains and they obviously have my details still. The operation was a marvellous success and I still have 20/20 vision.
“Good morning, how are you?”
“I am good thank you”
“Good, I am calling from *** with a special offer for you as a valued customer”
“Brilliant, I’ve been waiting for this! How much? do you need a deposit?”
“Well that depends on the procedure sir”
“Top shelf all the way, I want the x-ray option”
“Ha ha oh yes sir that would be nice, do you need glasses for reading?”
“No, not unless its her next door’s copy of Fifty Shades”
“Do you need glasses for driving?”
“No I am pretty much 20/20″
“Are you sure sir, prescriptions change with time”
“Pretty sure as are you, your firm did the work and you have my prescription”
“Oh there seems to have been a mistake”
“No they told me I would get 10% off when x-ray was available, as a valued customer, I’ve been waiting for this call now do you need a credit card”
“Ha, well of course we don’t do x-ray sir”
“What? that’s false advertising, I wan’t the x-ray option stop messing around”
“Well sir it’s been nice speaking to you”
“Look I have had the super hero costume for years now finally they will stop laughing at me for wearing tights to the pub”
“Hello”
“Are you there……..”