Before I start this post let me remind you, dear readers, that the blog charts my history and records my random thoughts and that is what this post does.
Occasionally I mention the various battle fronts that I have open with the ever nefarious Ms Nature but perhaps she is missing the attention that she once received. For some reason she has launched an assault across the board over the last few days, if you have seen me and I look tired or awkward then this is the reason.
I have written before about the theory that metalwork is painful in the damp/hot/cold and I remain adamant that this is garbage. Once metalwork is inside your body it will remain at a very comfortable 37 degrees whether you actually feel cold or warm As for damp, well despite what your grandmother may have told you damp cannot enter your skin, if it could then your internal fluids wouldn’t remain internal would they?
The argument against metalwork fails in any case because it is not just my arms that are rebelling. Every defective part is currently playing games of its own and causing me to have to spend a great deal more energy than I would normally in just operating on a day-to-day basis. It’s a bit like the duck sat serenely on a pond while its legs paddle like mad beneath, alright I may not be serene but the tiredness that you see is a result of Ms Nature’s sudden all out assault where:
- My left knee is repeatedly giving way when in use often at critical moments hence falling down the stairs. In fact ‘giving way’ sounds too relaxed what actually happens is a stabbing pain in the very joint itself, as if there is a shard of glass between the two moving surfaces, and then the load bearing fails.
- My left shoulder has ceased to tolerate even the lightest touch and now aches all day long. Still my persistent sub conscious pushes me to sleep on it with the result that when I wake up the very first sound I make is “ouch” as it feels like I have been sleeping with the shoulder pressed into razor wire all night.
- The nerve that sits at the very edge of the graft scar on my right arm has somehow moved and is driving me insane. I have taken to ice-cold water and a scrubbing-brush to sedate it at the moment which is easier than it sounds given the absence of sensation on the graft site. Of course this doesn’t stop me clawing at it in the night occasionally and waking up in the ensuing bloodbath (grafts bleed profusely).
- My right arm is constantly aching and right side of my hand is randomly numb or incredibly painful when I use it. Something appears to be moving in the hand and when I reach out it will randomly crunch and hurt, this is great for handshaking of course.
- Lefty is not to be outdone and is burning most of the time, more so at night, with the added complexity of carpal tunnel meaning my forearm burns but my fingers tingle like they are too cold.
So if I look more tired or even somewhat vacant please don’t think that I am being ignorant it is just that when the pub is open it is bad form for me to shout out at the pain or fall over. Normal service will be resumed shortly, just as soon as the tiresome Ms Nature gets bored or realises that she can’t win.