My foolhardy injuries have been playing up a little this week but this morning I awoke relatively pain-free. I had to slowly rotate my left shoulder into action and coax the left wrist into the loud crack that indicates that it is serviceable, well at least by my standards, but that is just the morning routine. I shook righty into operation and rose, before setting the kettle on to boil. I was awake enough to use both hands with the kettle and not allow righty the opportunity to remind me that it was early.
And so it was that I entered the hotel bathroom feeling rather pleased with myself, naivety at best. Stepping forward to the mirror my left knee gave way and I crashed, always elbow first, into the sink. For those of you that don’t believe in Ms Nature I offer this as yet more proof, not only that she exists but that she is in league with our limbs. The conveniently timed knee failing can only be the work of the nefarious Ms Nature since from a mechanical point of view it should have failed when I first put weight on it. But where on earth does the human body conclude that, in the event of falling, an elbow is the appropriate means to arrest descent?
They do not call the ‘funny bone’ by that name for any reason of humour to the owner this bone is humorous only to a crowd. Throwing it at an immovable object to slow ones descent is like throwing gravel down in front of a child who has come out of his go-kart, in principle it will work but he would still rather that you didn’t bother. Following some rather unhappy comments sent regarding a recent post I should point out that I have nothing against the elbow, I find it all together an excellent device that solves a design problem, but it is not a parachute.
The elbow is simply not designed or intended for stopping a falling mass and only a vindictive force would use it for such a purpose. I will accept that the natural fall arrest system of the human body, the hands, is probably somewhat compromised in my case but my instincts don’t know that. Anyway it isn’t just me; every one of you reading this is recalling an incident of ‘funny bone’ collision and cringing. Next time that you crack your elbow on a hard edge, after you have done the obligatory funny dance, curse Ms Nature for her male
For those that seem ever curious about my healing let me share an experience. I finished up on the laptop this evening and put it away. As I walked across the room lefty decided to remind me things aren’t perfect. The wrist spasmed and locked, followed by a sharp pain along the metalwork. It is a difficult thing for an Engineer because it clearly indicates a mechanical failing. It feels as if there is some mechanical failure that prevents movement, but I know that isn’t be the case.
I couldn’t move my hand on its own so I called on righty. The hand was mechanically tight and forcing it was like moving my forearm through broken glass. It is a very strange set of sensations, all quite unpleasant really. Of course, like most things it is transient. Because it’s lefty I can place the palm on the bed and push hard. Guess what? No snap, no fracture just a short nasty pain and freedom of movement returns. I will get this sort of misbehaviour from one or the other wrist once or twice a week. I have a theory on this, I think it’s nerves moving around and like all my theories the answer is brute force and ignorance. Hey works for me.
In happier news I saw an advert this evening that involved a roller-coaster. It’s amazing how silly things bring such great memories back to you. It is also quite astounding how many great memories you can have in one place. The roller-coaster reminded me of the daft little coaster at Black Gang Chine. The thing took years to build and is probably one of the smallest roller-coasters in the country! But my children were of the age that the most important thing in the world was to be able to fit those little GRP models that dictate minimum heights.
To small children these little plastic characters sit like stazi preventing entry to rides. Being able to reach the gremlin’s hand is an indication of maturity, almost a rite of passage. Having entertained each other on the teacups they passed the height limit for the coaster, ok my daughter may have been on tip toes. Luckily my girlfriend at the time took the kids on the ride, roller-coasters are not for me. That one image on the television placed me back there. I could feel the sun on my shoulders, hear the delighted shrieks of my babies and the sounds of the crowds.
It is odd, no matter what happens in life the happy bits are sealed forever in pockets of memory. Things change, people hurt you but the feeling that you had at that moment is locked forever. It is a perpetual regret that I don’t have enough of these memories with my gorgeous children but those that I have can illuminate the darkest of days.