Is it just me or have companies become harder to get hold of? My beloved blackberry has developed a minor fault and, since it is under warranty, I need to get it repaired. It has taken, so far, three weeks to obtain a returns authorisation and I still don’t actually have one.
I loathe phoning Delhi and speaking to Surinda, or Jon as he claims to be called, but needs must. In the first instance I called customer services from my works cell, also vodafone, and was pleasantly surprised. A pleasant and polite young English lady couldn’t have been more helpful. Had they finally moved their call centre from Mumbai, fantastic! But of course that would be too easy wouldn’t it. When I explained it was my personal cell she very politely explained that I had come through to the corporate side and I would need to redial or perhaps she could “try” and put me through.
Having opted for the latter I found myself transferred to Mahatmacoat who appeared to have learnt his english entirely by studying a packet of cornflakes, from Bolton. Firstly we had to establish that the handset was the same one that they had sold me 10 months ago and therefore under warranty. This was a serious affair akin to the normal security I had to confirm the colour, the IMEI and the cell’s maiden name. This is lost on me since if I return a handset not under warranty they will simply charge me, there is no loss or risk to them.
Having confirmed the identity of the phone we confirmed my identity, we were cooking on gas now. If I could just take the handset into my local store, what? I don’t have a local store that is why I have been on the phone to the third world for half a bloody hour! Ah if I would please be waiting for a minute please then he would check. Apparently time is longer in India but ten minutes later there was an inquisitive hello on the line. Oh yes I am still here, you can’t hide from me Sanjay, I could post it. No shit sherlock, that much I knew but where should I post it to? Cue another ten minute delay while he cycled to the next village for advice.
He would send me a returns package, all prepaid and I was pleased to not be worried in the meantime. Of course it didn’t arrive, why would it. The next course of action was the online chat, at least I don’t have to hear the cloying and irritating attempts at English. They informed me that there was no record of my 45 minute call, sanjay must have forgot to write it in the mud. It was ok though because, having confirmed all of the details again, I could be most satisfied that most definitely he would be placing the order now and I could be most assured of it arriving.
Since jattal sounded most sincere I can only assume he caught cholera or got eaten by a tiger, either way I received nothing. The third contact was also performed online and rinjeet had no information as to the previous conversation. I can only presume that whilst waving flaming torches to scare the tiger away from poor jattal they accidentally set fire to his hut. Anyway if I could just confirm the colour of the handset. . .why? Why do I need to tell you the colour of the handset that you sent me, you know this detail and it is irrelevant! I point blank refused and wandered off to do something more useful like count the teabags.
When I returned to the pc there was a number of messages from rinjeet enquiring as to my whereabouts followed by her closing the call. I concluded that I would have to take the handset to a store and mentally planned the task for next week. Out of the blue I received an sms telling me that my repair order was being processed, go figure. It would appear that without the added complication of trying to sound English at 2am in a mud hut in Mumbai rinjeet was free to understand the issue and resolve it.
I await the repair packs arrival at the weekend, I do hope it has an English address on it.