For those not in the UK please remember that we are obsessed with watching people cook on the TV. We have more shows on cooking than any other subject and I am convinced they grow at a rate closely linked to the growth in ready meals sales. In short we are a nation that likes to eat rubbish whilst watching people cook good food! One such show that has ‘inspired’ us is a baking contest.
I suggest that the pundits are incorrect, the cause of the surge in baking is not the tanned judge of said show it is frustration. Not just any frustration but sexual frustration and, like so many things, it’s a ‘girl thing’. Obviously I am not female and so I can only establish this case ‘dream wife’ from observation, I will leave you to draw your own conclusions. Three good friends, including, rather alarmingly, my ‘dream wife’ have demonstrated my case.
All three women bake a lot despite not being big cake eaters. In the more severe of cases this has developed into marmalade and jam production on a near industrial scale. Now you may think that this was inspired by the TV, a desire to return to homemade food or even a domestic challenge but that is why you don’t understand women*. Don’t think that this is a male only post though because guess what girls? You don’t understand yourselves either! The reason underlying this prolific baking is, in all three cases, sexual frustration. Nobody can explain the link between the two subjects and I am assured it’s not a flour fetish.
Whilst this is a small sample it does demonstrate a 100% link between frustration and baking and that makes for an interesting world. You know when that person brings home baked cakes into the office? There’s way more to that than meets the eye. The guys that believe ‘blondes have more fun’ way off the mark fella, go find yourself a girl with a fresh baked Victoria sponge and you’ll be walking with a limp for weeks! For me, as a people watcher, this is great as it’s another window into people’s lives. Like every other great discovery this one can be extended and it generates some interesting results.
The guy that brings home baked cakes in to work in his packed lunch, don’t be envious his Mrs is climbing the walls. The married lad that ‘does a bit of baking’ over the weekend, he does that because he got cold shouldered. And for the women out there, when you’re at the school fete and you see the woman with the store brought fairy cakes? Don’t snear at her for her lack of baking skills, that ladies is a slut. Whilst you were baking she was hanging off the light fittings in a cat suit.
Like I said you can draw your own conclusions but next time you see home baked cake remember this post.
*the author makes no claim, either express or implied, that he understands women
