Having written recently offering my advice to the group of women that struggle to make friends I have an update. I started writing the update a few days ago but couldn’t word it particularly well. Having had two separate conversations on the subject I think it is now worth some extra effort.
The first suggestion developed from the idea that it was preferrable to write one’s number on the back of a toilet door than on a doggy poo bag. Now I have an issue with this in its basic concept, if I try calling these numbers its always gay guys that answer. My co-conspirator suggests that this issue is solved by adding your name to the opposite sex’s door after closing time. I am not sure that this is elegant enough and it certainly carries a high risk. Having considered the basic concept, its flaws and its challenges we have honed this to a workable solution. Singles night will be split over two nights and the toilet doors will change cubicles at the end of the first night. This is slightly more developed than the blind date concept because you will have seen the potential. I love the fact that, like poker, you can see your hand and have to choose the wager. If it’s a ‘one in ten’ night you may not take a number. if it’s a four in ten you may take three. It could be all to play for but you could still gamble your shirt and end up bust.
The second suggestion is a development of the original theme. It was pointed out to me that whilst the topless option does indeed make friends quickly it is not scientific. My co-conspirator on this wanted to involve some form of calculation to ensure that the ratio of prospective friends was accurately matched to the level of nakedness. We are struggling with the means of calculation, although I don’t doubt we will hit the formula. What we do have is the means of visualisation. Like the school girl shortening her skirt we have decided that the top for the evening should have tear off strips such that we have a graduation of toplessness. The Publican tells me that we need to engage generation Y by having more interactive engagement so perhaps we can introduce a macro to do this maths.
There is some work to do on both of these options and I am sure that my silent co-conspirator will continue to assist. I list the discussion here so that I can claim originality in the final concept.
Fresh from a co-conspirator:
Well, I started to compose an elaborate formula, then just came up with a word version of what we’re after.
Given, that “the girls” need some nutritional component to form for the optional viewing experience, the bmi is probably a fair measure, so the first part is pick a bmi that should work. … 23?
So this is the zero opacity point.
Now for every point on the bmi scale away from that, add 25% to the opacity scale. Giving us a lovely sliding scale from a fully covered scrawny bird to an uncovered optimal, then gradual covering, back to the big birds. …
This doesn’t allow for the cosmetically enhanced, but whilst they may be fun they’re are probably sine issues there, that should be avoided. …