I wanted to share with you the part of this life that you don’t see. You all see the public side, after all this is a public house, and to a large degree you follow my life. On a busy day you see me work hard, on a quiet day you share my time. When I am tired or unhappy you see that and comment on it because this is the person that you own.
It is lovely that so many people pick up on a mood change and are genuinely concerned for me. When the mood of the pub changes or I spend more time checking the CCTV it is great, and somewhat reassuring, that you guys pick up on this and follow my eyes. This is part of what makes this a great pub, you have my back and I have yours, and I will always be proud of that.
I have written before about the fact that, in my experience, most publicans are somewhat shy creatures whose confidence exists in the fabric of their pub, I still believe this and it is certainly true of myself. I don’t believe in ghosts but pubs are social havens, love is found and lost between these walls and has been for hundreds of years. That sheer humanity is almost tangible at night when the pub is empty and images of people past and present flash through your mind. I adore this pub and always will but, just as in the Ship before, she makes a strange bedfellow for a single man.
Despite being such social venues pubs can also be some of the loneliest places around. For me cashing up the till drawer is the worst time, for some reason it is forever linked to the image of scrooge in my mind. There is something about locking a big old safe door in a silent old pub that reminds me of the weight that sits on my and only my shoulders.
You see that is the thing about your landlord, you don’t really know him, he is what you want him to be real people need not apply for this job.All due respect to the acting community but they act for a scene or a show true actors do it all day every day, we know acting. Only a publican invites you into his home on his darkest day and sympathises with you over things which, in truth, even you don’t really care about.
Whilst I miss the mania that was engineering I love what I do now and remain convinced that this was the right thing to do. I have always said that the pub would be all-consuming and that in itself would be a good thing because it removes me from the, eventual, pressures of retirement and then having to find a life outside of work. Nothing has changed in that view but sometimes its very tiring realising that the only sober/sensible conversation you may have for days is with Henry the hoover!
In health news I can confirm that once again Ms Nature makes no sense. Recent changes in temperature seem to have resulted in more aches and pains but again I cannot reconcile that with any reason. Temperature makes no difference to internal joints and metalwork so why should they ache more? I suspect that it is just another opportunity for Ms Nature to act up there is no more logic behind temperature change affecting aches than there is behind buying cards for ‘grandparents day’.
An additional weapon in the nefarious ones armoury appears to be carpal tunnel syndrome although I think I have more carpal canyons than tunnels these days. Both carpal tunnels were roughly hewn out of the mess that I presented to the surgeon so they are what they are but finger tip tingling and numbness are now a regular feature of my day. On a positive note some research revealed that diet does not affect CTS, I know its hard to believe but there is actually something out there that they haven’t got around to blaming on diet and lifestyle!
I can’t leave a health update without touching on the matter of blood pressure (thanks Jo) which I can still tell you is low. When we played with a fitbit in the pub the other day it variously had me as the lowest (by a large margin) heart rate or flat lined, I must say I preferred the former. In fairness measuring anything on the things that I call wrists would be a challenge so I dug out my BP monitor and had a quick check. At 122/78 I can confirm that I am still alive and, apparently, well. This is not the best news for my ex colleagues as it seems to indicate that the previous role had a lot to do with my previously diagnosed hypertension.