A day spent with a supplier today highlighted the contrast between my two worlds. It’s a marvel of the human mind, or perhaps a quirk of my specific one, that I can compartmentalise such disparate worlds. On one hand I’m debating technical details on multi-million pound issues and on the other wondering if I need pygmy stools or cubes with that sofa.
Whilst there are, undoubtedly, similarities between the two worlds that I straddle sometimes they seem miles apart. I mean really how can you compare a debate on the relative merits of chemical etching in bond processes with understanding mortar bees?
On the last note let me assure you mortar bees are twats, nothing less. I know that we are all told that we have to look after the bees, these fluffy terrorists are responsible for something to do with plants or trees apparently* But this is not true of mortar bees, these are like low cost labour released to supplement the good guys and they live, the clue is in the name, in mortar.
Apparently once they are on site they will return seasonally, normally exploiting damaged mortar or air bricks. In my case they turned up when the mortar was replaced, lime mortar takes weeks to harden and so is the perfect environment for the wretched things. After the success of the weed grenade I have decided that a combination of pesticides, liberally applied, is the way to go with this particular nuisance. I did start researching the matter but got discouraged by the number of people who suggest leaving them alone, presumably they weren’t having their property consumed by them!
There are two issues with leaving them alone. Firstly they are eating the ‘glue’ that holds my pub together, I don’t care who you are you are not entitled to eat my property. If you try and steal steak from my plate expect to get stabbed with a fork, if you eat my mortar expect to taste pesticides! The second reason is, and this is a pearl, they can’t sting you! I have said it before and I will say it again, nature is a moron! You call these things bees, let them make the noise, send them to invade property but leave them firing blanks!
*the author does not profess to have a full understanding of this nature business