Since I have been ‘off grid’ for the last few months I have relied on friends to maintain the day to day aspects of my life, let me acknowledge now that I am incredibly blessed to have top friends and their support has been invaluable.
Now that I have made that clear I can recount the story of my return home. Andrew and Helen had left my flat in perfect readiness with the staples of milk, butter, beer and diet Irn Bru all safely chilling in the fridge in fact I could have comfortably hibernated on the provisions in place. A card sat on the table along with a bottle bag, the latter containing a bottle of Cilit Bang cleaner which I presumed was there to help me clean up. A DVD had been left for entertainment and, somewhat oddly, a packet of cheese strings was prominently displayed in the fridge. Whilst some of these gifts seemed rather odd I paid them little regard, except that is for the DVD. The DVD was Alan Carr a man that I passionately detest.
I couldn’t just bin the DVD and I didn’t want to return it off hand in case it had been chosen carefully or perhaps by their daughter so I pondered for a day or so before enquiring of Helen whose idea it had been. Having been reassured that it was Andrew’s choice I manned up and returned the DVD with a little speech recounting how grateful I was but that I really couldn’t abide the content, the answer came mid sentence “I know”. He then proceeded to remind me of the communication that I had sent home some weeks previously in which I detailed just what long term exposure to the TV can do to a man. I had explained that that the merest hint of an advertisement for the Carr was enough to drive me into a psychotic rage and that the cheese string advert had got me to the stage where I had dreams of meeting the character in the street and tearing his silly yellow head off!
So this post is testament to the Raymonds for remembering a rant for longer than I did and, in enacting it, causing me to normalise such things as a ‘gift’ of kitchen cleaner, thanks guys!