I have spent the day working on a training presentation around writing reports, it concentrates on the right words and language. Apparently I will make a good candidate for the course because I am clearly not great at reading. Lunch today was to be a pie that required cooking in the oven. As a single man perhaps my greatest purchase was a combination microwave/oven device, much more efficient. The pie advised me 20 minutes at 180 was required to complete the task. I dialled up the appropriate commands, added the pie and hit Go or Start or whatever that button is called. Looking forward to lunch I returned to my work for no more than 5 minutes when things took a bad turn. The burning smell summoned me back to the microwave which was merrily rotating a pie that was on fire.
I am not exaggerating here, there were flames coming from the top of the pie and my super intelligent microwave seemed oblivious. I extracted the fireball and subdued the flames, a quick survey confirmed there were no salvageable components. Next the investigation, obviously I needed to establish what went wrong as a pie had been lost. I extracted the packaging from the trash and reread the instructions which still said 20 minutes at 180, I checked the dashboard on the microwave which confirmed 15 minutes remaining at 180. A second retrieval was required to confirm the timings were for a chilled and not a frozen product, this was indeed the case. Most confusing, if it takes 20 minutes to cook how could it catch fire after 5, was there some instruction to douse with water that I was missing? I even checked, after the nut report, that there were no ‘caution may explode’ warnings.
Then, after much head scratching, it hit me. It is all in the details of the words, apparently ‘combination’ is different to ‘convection’ although the buttons are identical and very close to each other. I had no idea that combination meant cook and consume in a fiery blaze. How jolly clever those chaps at Samsung are, I add food and in 7 minutes sweep the ash out. Now that beats low calorie food, just have the high calorie stuff and combination cook it! Out or respect to Jo’s policy of ‘glass half full’ I am now most happy with the savings that I have made on cholesterol and the like by burning my lunch to oblivion.