Book quotes are coming thick and fast this week, the latest being ‘I would trust that man with my wife’ if that is a mark of trust then I am indeed honoured because there isn’t a person I wouldn’t trust with my wife! Alright that may have something to do with the fact that she is in fact now an ex-wife but hey I am going to use that the very next time the debate comes up ‘dude I would trust you with my wife’.
This morning saw the weather making a special effort to tease some tourists into visiting the coast, we started the morning with a threat of snow but that gave way to glorious sun just in time for the Mums to start thinking a trip would be a good idea and hopefully badger Dads into the drive. It’s scary to see just how reliant so many businesses are on the weather and how many are stretched at this time of year as we head into the ‘season’, good luck to all. The weather must have worked to some degree as the local grocery stores look like they have been under siege all day and I have been treated to the view of chip eaters in their natural environment. Directly opposite my flat is shelter arrangement with seats all of the way around it, the sort of thing that is commonly found at most UK coastal resorts, if you sit on any of three sides you can see the sea but the fourth looks at the road. It is the road side seems the most popular, now I would understand this if people were waiting for buses and the like but no they sit there eating their chips and, in so far as I can see, watching me. I haven’t let the fame go to my head though, I still wander around my flat in various stages of undress and I have even managed to overcome the natural urge to wince when I look down and spy somebody biting down on a sausage.
If the weather really is able to plot and twist to tease us then this supports my theory that time also is not inanimate, I know that I am encroaching on Mr Paynter’s territory here but stick with me. If time was a simple and linear measure then how would it be that on leaving work yesterday with a sensible allowance for making my train connection I ended up just missing the train? I didn’t miss my train of course but I missed the one before it, just missed it actually, by seconds and I believe this was time playing with me. For the first part of the journey time passed extraordinarily quickly, stations whizzed by and the miles were consumed voraciously, hence the early arrival at the interchange, but then just as we approached the momentum was lost and time started flowing like road tar. How many times does this happen to you? Your racing ahead, everything is looking good and then it just slows down and frame by frame you miss your target. Paul once tried to guide me through a book that was way beyond my intellect, we used to have mornings at work around a whiteboard so he could explain such seemingly obvious concepts as bending time but unfortunately they were lost on me, that is until now. I think that time can bend itself and I think it does it to spite us, I may even venture that I detect the workings of Ms Nature in this somewhere.
If you imagine that we are travelling down a road that we shall call ‘time’ and we can only ever see a fixed distance in front then when that path is bent we are mislead into thinking that we are travelling faster because we can see further ahead. So at this point I can see my connecting train, the grocery store still open or the cab waiting but because I am looking to the left or right (because of the bend) I am tricked into thinking it is within grasp when in fact I still have the long road to travel. Are you still with me? If it helps, imagine a very large roundabout and you are approaching from the 6 o’clock junction and heading off at 7 o’clock, although you can see 7 o’clock you actually have to travel around the whole roundabout to get to it.
In summary, time is against us it is trying to confuse us and it is making us late, I haven’t figured out why yet but I am working on it and will report in due course.