A pair of my travelling companions were discussing that most expensive of ‘ex’ not expert or ex pats but ex wives. Mr A was bemoaning how she had cleaned him out, how he had worked all of his life and worked hard while she had no real education or career. Whilst Mr B listened quietly Mr A heaped praised on some foreign legal systems that returned the wife to the pre marriage position, after all that was fair why should she be able to profit from her selection of a husband? I don’t doubt that Mr B had been listening to this for some time, after all its Monday morning so any divorce couldn’t have been agreed any later than Friday, I don’t doubt this because of his response. There are some responses that we make regardless of how we actually feel about the subject, this was one of them forgive me for paraphrasing.
‘So your 45, been working all your life and married for 7 years right? You reckon she is dumb, she’s living in your house, sleeping in your bed and parking her new fella’s car on your drive, not saying she is right but pal that girl ain’t dumb’
Judging by the sudden interest paid to an email arriving on his BlackBerry I think Mr A may have just had an epiphany. I was sorely tempted to offer him the advice given to me by one of the many lawyers that worked on my divorce, advice she shared with every male client. This god fearing woman who was married herself was resolute ‘you have been married and it didn’t work, only an idiot would do it twice’. I kept it to myself, he seemed to have had enough for one day.
Thanks go out to the railway operators of England today for reminding me that platforms get slippery,unfortunately it was too late I had already discovered this while walking to the station, perhaps they could SMS the reminder in future?
I tried to walk along a path today with a woman using one of those dome style umbrellas that children use, it made me hate umbrellas more than I already did. She picked her way along the pavement which resulted in the umbrella successfully blocking any attempt to pass her, the feet were so random in picking a way through the snow that it was impossible to predict. Frustration and anger got the better of me and I steered the dome to the right to allow me to pass but I hadn’t figured on the howling wind, presuming this was what was guiding her she battled against me. Luckily nobody saw me trying to force this woman down the road by her umbrella, at one stage I considered letting go and allowing her own force to take her to the left so that I could slip round on the right but this seemed too much like assault.
Eventually I steered her on a collision path with a telegraph pole and she seemed to grasp the concept that something other than nature was at work, she turned, grumbled and moaned at me and I barged past. I am normally respectful of people and rarely rude but I must formally declare that when you deploy an umbrella you forfeit any right to courtesy.