Its not arthritis or alzheimer’s that indicates approaching old age its shops or, more precisely, their security. You see when you can enter a shop wearing a hoody and a baseball cap, sweating from a brisk walk, large rucksack on your shoulder, set the alarm off and get no reaction then your getting old. That really is the best test, why do they pay for CAT scans and psychological assessments for the elderly just to confirm its old age? What a waste of NHS funds, simply dress them like a shoplifter, throw a security tag in their pocket and send them to the shop, no arrest? that’s old age. I admit that in younger patients we may need to exercise some discretion since its a bit like the old witch trials, if you don’t get arrested your off to a home, if you do get arrested then you would have been free to go. On second thoughts if you look like a shoplifter perhaps you should have been arrested anyway, bloody kids.
Sitting in the physio waiting room today I observed another indicator of age, this one only applies to women and maybe not all of them. There is a general look of contempt that older women reserve for their partner when his back is turned, really its true now that I have mentioned it you will see it. My example today was a husband who had waited patiently for his wife to exit the physio, she came out and he asked how it had gone and got up to leave. On the way he stopped to pour the remnants of his coffee away and dispose of the cup in the bathroom, as she waited she looked at him with such contempt you could almost feel it. I don’t think she meant him any malice I think its just a phase that the female facial muscles go through where bored or not interested looks the same as seething contempt, its ok girls you grow out of it by the Nana stage! If you don’t believe me check out the next 50 up couple you see, he looks bored she looks like she could kill him, funny thing nature, perhaps we should name this phase of ageing ‘honesty’.
A physio update, I apologise again to Ben for telling him that he has caused lefty’s new crunch, his face was a picture. Good work on both limbs thanks James, always nice to be congratulated by Debs but I have to disagree that we can’t push harder ok I won’t disagree in person but when I am at home its my rules. A personal triumph for me in avoiding James realising that he had locked lefty, he flexed his hands for a restart and I didn’t move luckily he didn’t spot this and cracked on (literally) good man.