I have given some more thought to my theories on the delightful Mother Nature and I believe it all stacks up to support my theory. Much as I hate to anger the feminist movement if we have a Mother Nature then there must be a Father Nature and so at some point my nemesis was Mrs Nature.
Now we hear nothing of Mr Nature which leads me to assume that she is now single, an ex Mrs Nature now and therefore a Ms Nature. Now that I have had time to reflect further I think I am understanding Ms Nature better.
There is no mention of Mr Nature anywhere so we can presume that theirs was not an amicable split. Far be it from me to assume that this has left Ms Nature bitter, twisted and seeking revenge well not without further evidence at least.
How does Ms Nature respond to definitive facts? She blithely ignores them and when faced with reasoned argument Ms Nature does not engage. Having taken a position that she cannot hope to defend Ms Nature’s response is to dig in and fight in the face of inevitable loss. The gains that I make and the successes that I have are inevitably met with a spiteful stab of pain.
In fact not an inch of ground is given without a battle, no assistance is given and every win that I have is considered ‘against the odds’ and a feat of defiance. The more thought I put into this the more I am thinking that, surely there can’t be another woman that hates me as much as my ex wife? That would mean I am Mr Nature.
Now if I was Mr Nature then this sheds a whole new light on the Mr(s) Smith conspiracy, perhaps it is more fundamental than my knowledge of the mysterious Dr Evil’ ship (thanks Anita). Is the shadowy Mr(s) Smith funded by Ms Nature herself, am I against the very forces of nature personified? No on second thoughts I probably just really angered Ms Nature when I smashed up her handiwork and to be fair she is a sweetheart compared to the ex wife!