I have discovered that the anonymity afforded to readers of the blog is affecting my ability to socially interact or perhaps improving it in ways that I am yet to understand. Allow me to explain what I mean, I can’t see who reads the blog which I fill with my empty-headed ramblings and health updates and that means I don’t know who I have effectively shared my day with.
I start a conversation on a pertinent issue with a friend and half way through they tell me the rest of the story because they have already read it. I could, of course, restrict the use of my witty* anecdotes and musings on life but given the jaunty angle of my wrists health is a subject that I cannot avoid when I meet people and again this is pre published to an invisible audience. I regularly get asked how I am by somebody in the pub only for their partner to return half way through the conversation and chip in with ‘yeah it’s hurting more now, I saw it on the blog’.
Whilst languishing in a hot bath and testing the effects of heat on my arms** I mused upon this growing social challenge and considered that this must, in a small way, be similar to celebrity status. Is this how it feels when your life is in the red tops? Every person that you speak to knows what you did this week, who you have met and what you think about the latest news so you no longer have anything to start a conversation with. Further musing brought me to a more sensible conclusion, this is that old age thing creeping in again I am test driving Alzheimer’s!
Because I don’t know who you are I don’t know what you know, even if I know that you read the blog I have no idea how up to date you are or what the last posts that you read are, I am effectively repeating myself. There is, of course, further evidence that this is a test drive of an elderly, condition the blog contains two dominant areas of content you see, my ramblings and my health. So in a public house I appear, to all the world, as if I am just repeating crazy ramblings and health stories to an audience that has already heard it.
I have considered methods for addressing this, perhaps coloured hats, coded handshakes or T-shirts displaying the latest post read but then I realised that would be like test driving a car on a snowy day, it doesn’t give the true effect. Perhaps I should embrace the test drive, purchase some cardigans (do they sell them pre egg stained?), jumble my sock drawer (although I am not sure how you make odd pairs of black socks) and forget whether I have paid for my beer.
Just so that I remember that this is a test run could I ask that when you see me, rather than hello or how are you? you just say the title of the last post you read. Whilst many will see these greetings as odd and unusual, some will think its some new brand of secret society there is another advantage, it will confuse Mr(s) Smith and perhaps throw her off her mission.
On the note of Mr(s) Smith I shall be taking all of the precautions that I have learnt from Clive Cussler, David Baldacci and James Paterson on my journey home on Friday in order to disrupt any pattern in my travel*** and put them off my scent. I have to take as many precautions as I can whilst I can still remember them, if old age creeps up on me then I will be an easy target circling a bar stool and wearing a hole in the carpet!
**It’s an Engineer thing
***Start and end point will be the same but I shall be in a cunning disguise and have my bag on the other shoulder (can’t say which one in case Mr(s) Smith is amongst the anonymous readers)