I was going to start this post with something like ‘its been a long day today’ but then I stopped myself and realised that it hasn’t really, well certainly not as long as it feels. I was up at 5 and I have just sat down indoors at 19:20 but most of the day has been spent travelling, London to Loughborough, back to London and back home and that does really take it out of me. No this is garbage; I don’t sleep much, work incredibly long hours and travel across the globe where is this coming from? I am exhausted but why? The sad truth is that I have actually done very little today with the exception of negotiating the Brush works which is the size of a small town.
What is this pervasive, creeping malaise that tells me that everything is too much effort and tires me out, I have to stop it or I will believe my own press. I ran the pub last year as well as working, I was calling brewery orders in whilst driving across Europe and existing on no more than 3 hours sleep and that didn’t bother me! I’ve checked and the teabags I am using are the same, I had a horrible fear that they had changed into Horlicks* I am wearing a hoody, no sign of a cardigan, my teeth are still mine (such as they are) and the only hat I possess is a baseball cap. What in the hell is making me old? I know its time and that we all age at the rate of 24 hrs a day ** but where did this muttering assumption that ‘travelling takes it out of me’ come from? It certainly wasn’t there in July.
As far as I am aware old age doesn’t switch on overnight, when I left hospital I was incredibly weak and my body had what can only be described as a hell of a lot of work to do but I no longer have that excuse. Somewhere along the line I’ve aged myself, is this how old age starts? Is the next panic going to be that I have to reserve seats next to the toilet and panic when the electronic reservation system puts me too far away? Is bladder weakness and memory loss coming? Is this the thin end of the wedge?
Is the default old age? Does it lay there dormant and waiting for you to slow down and then bang! It leaps out from the bus stop with its walking frame and pushes you into comfy slipper hell. Do your mind and body play along with you when your younger waiting patiently like parents ‘oh look at him go, he will tire himself out’, did these traitors see my recuperation as the inevitable beginning of the end? Well I have news for them, this is not inevitable old age, it was a pause, that’s done now and the body and mind want to be back full time and some to make up for the gap! My alarm is going to be set earlier and I will be filling more of the day until I kick myself back into shape, old age indeed.
I expect anyone that hears me moaning that ‘travelling takes it out of me’ or ‘these biscuits are too hard’ to chastise me, travelling is bloody easy and biscuits are meant to be hard! I shall have my time as an old man when all of these things will be important to me, now is not that time.
If your wondering where technology features in this then allow me to explain, having listened to the voices that told me that I should be shattered I sat down to watch the TV with a cup of tea but oh no technology must have caught up with my earlier attack on the electronic reservation system. My free view box has expired, it is no more, it has ceased to be a free view box I would diagnose this further but given the cost of these things I would be more efficiently employed drying used teabags! But without this device there is no television, there is no analogue signal anymore so no decoder box means no TV, in fairness this is no real loss.
Was this an attempt by technology to reinforce the idea that I am old? I can remember when to watch TV all you needed, wait for it, was a TV now my TV is as impotent as a car without fuel. Well technology, if you think that dirty tricks will work have I got news for you, I have cracked the laptop out to get some work done and thought I would blog first and you know what? I feel brighter, this technology has not let me down*** I feel younger and more invigorated in fact I will stay up later now because I can and because I am not at the end yet!
*other elderly night time beverages are probably available
**go on Paul you know you want to challenge that
*** but it will given that its supported by CSC