Forgive me if I wander a little of track with this post, its just the way things go.
I spent the end of last week being assaulted by my small blonde daughter and her aspirations that I should procure a pony for her, the assault was well planned and actually supported by her brother who, as far as we are all aware, has no interests in matters equine.
Those of you that no longer sport a 1 or possibly a 2 as the first digit in your age will appreciate that initial cost is not the end of the road with animals, unlike a car that can be left on the drive with no fuel a pony is a continuing cost, my daughter does not appreciate this.
Given that I am purchasing a house for said daughters mother I cannot agree to take on another liability as every cost is now measured as turnover in the pub and that makes financial commitment scary.
So we have had the debates, the promises “I will come and see you every week” and the threats “harry won’t come and see you anymore” and I like to think that I have handled it all with paternal dignity but it did leave me with no children this weekend.
The absence of children led me to consider matters of purpose and I have concluded that my kids are pretty much my sole purpose and as they grow so I am starting to drift. I have worked hard all my life and in doing so have been able to provide experiences and change the lifes of some pretty unpleasant women, I have been able to provide for my children and others and like to think that I have made some money for several employers.
So when people ask me why I would be so mad as to go into the licensed trade right now, why I would struggle and fight to obtain the next pub when all around are failing and why I would leave the world of engineering that has treated me well for so long I think I have the answer. I want to have a life and I want to have a purpose that is more than being a revenue source to others, I actually want to stand in my venue and survey my kingdom and know that I am responsible for it and that my soul is what drives it.
Told you it was a step to the right but hey that’s the magic of blogs, they don’t have to follow a pattern.