My foolhardy injuries have been playing up a little this week but this morning I awoke relatively pain-free. I had to slowly rotate my left shoulder into action and coax the left wrist into the loud crack that indicates that it is serviceable, well at least by my standards, but that is just the morning routine. I shook righty into operation and rose, before setting the kettle on to boil. I was awake enough to use both hands with the kettle and not allow righty the opportunity to remind me that it was early.
And so it was that I entered the hotel bathroom feeling rather pleased with myself, naivety at best. Stepping forward to the mirror my left knee gave way and I crashed, always elbow first, into the sink. For those of you that don’t believe in Ms Nature I offer this as yet more proof, not only that she exists but that she is in league with our limbs. The conveniently timed knee failing can only be the work of the nefarious Ms Nature since from a mechanical point of view it should have failed when I first put weight on it. But where on earth does the human body conclude that, in the event of falling, an elbow is the appropriate means to arrest descent?
They do not call the ‘funny bone’ by that name for any reason of humour to the owner this bone is humorous only to a crowd. Throwing it at an immovable object to slow ones descent is like throwing gravel down in front of a child who has come out of his go-kart, in principle it will work but he would still rather that you didn’t bother. Following some rather unhappy comments sent regarding a recent post I should point out that I have nothing against the elbow, I find it all together an excellent device that solves a design problem, but it is not a parachute.
The elbow is simply not designed or intended for stopping a falling mass and only a vindictive force would use it for such a purpose. I will accept that the natural fall arrest system of the human body, the hands, is probably somewhat compromised in my case but my instincts don’t know that. Anyway it isn’t just me; every one of you reading this is recalling an incident of ‘funny bone’ collision and cringing. Next time that you crack your elbow on a hard edge, after you have done the obligatory funny dance, curse Ms Nature for her male
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Gav Young 